Even though we had been only dating for 4 months, it felt like everything was progressing organically. We shared the same values and seemed to be falling more and more in love each day.

We seemed perfect for each other and everything felt so right. Out of all my relationships, he treated me the best and made me feel so special. Then one day he told me that we were not compatible, that he fell out of love with me, and that he no longer saw me in his future. When he dumped me, I was so heartbroken. I wanted him to come back badly and to realize what I did wrong.

I kept blaming myself. I wanted to know why he disappeared on me, our relationship and our future together. I wanted to make things right by figuring out how I needed to change.

I automatically assumed I was the problem. I was not to blame. If he was meant to be my partner for life, he would have stayed through the thick and thin, through the bad of it all.

He would have worked on our problems together. But instead he bailed. Clearly, he was not the man for me. I feel liberated and relieved to know these truths, like a great weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

He left because of him, not because of me. I am in such a better place today because of your insights and inspirational guidance. I deserve someone better, someone who will love me unconditionally and be there to the end, no matter what. Frankly, I feel optimistic and excited about dating again.

I am looking forward to meeting my future partner and I know he will love me unconditionally, just as I will love him unconditionally. I have faith and I have found peace. I feel more confident about myself and the future.

I feel alive again! No more tears!! I encourage you to read the entire book. See how it fits into your specific situation. Think about how it might change things for you, and how you can apply everything you learned. I want to help you get that peace of mind and confidence that will improve your love life immediately. I was on the borderline of discouragement and throwing in the towel in terms of dating. I experienced long-term relationships but they were always out of sync.

I needed to understand WHY. Of course, as women, we talk to our women friends. That got me nowhere so finding your Evan Marc Katz website and getting WHD answered the question from someone that really knew the answer; another man. I read WHD the first time and it was like the saw was cutting through my ribcage. I read WHD the second time and it was the cleaning out of my major arteries.

I read it the third time and it was as if I was being stitched up. I feel better than I have since I was a teenager and started this dating journey. The process takes just a few clicks and you can be reading my book on your computer in as little as 5 minutes from now. Imagine never having to agonize over what you said or did because a guy disappeared after a few dates or stopped calling when things seemed to be going so great.

I was going through the mechanics of a divorce from a VERY abusive and controlling man. Found out that he had periodically gone through my computer for the 11 years we were married and checked up on every site that I had visited. Was coming out of a very bad place, had serious anxiety issues. My situation was compounded because I was originally from an African country that treated women like second class citizens and he and his family had done this for years.

Worse still, I had allowed them to do so. I wanted to find out what a healthy relationship looked like, what to expect while dating and just generally how to conduct myself. Wow, that kind of gave me permission to go out there and enjoy myself! Another important lesson I got from the book and your website was that it was okay to be a cool girl and to give men a break. Your views on bad relationships also helped me heal and move on from my former marriage. Well, I decided to give a guy from my previous job a chance.

He was a little nerdy, smaller in stature and shorter than what I was used to, but taller than me. He was very handsome, fit, successful and great at what he did, but not your typical alpha male. I had invited him for my birthday party right before I left my old job and he came. He was a guy that ordinarily I would have politely given an excuse not to go to dinner with, but something about what you said about giving a different type of guy a chance resonated with me and I decided to go to dinner with him.

Well, one thing led to the other, we went on many more dates, I played it cool, asked him one time early in the relationship what he wanted out of dating and just relaxed and enjoyed the moment and every single date I was on.

I particularly found useful after the first couple of dates your lessons on mirroring and reciprocating. I let him text and call me first, even though the texts were few and far between initially. I never put any pressure on him. I really lived in the moment, which was very, very new to me, with my last relationship, I was always focused on the future, anxious and stressed out.

He calls me everyday! Says he really enjoys my company, goes out of his way to do nice things for me. Is monogamous and expects the same from me! Who designed this website? If your relationship is making you feel anxious, you must learn these 8 reasons why your insecurities may scare even the best boyfriend away from committing to you.

You started to picture your future together. You told your friends and family about him. You imagined events down the road — traveling, holidays, kids. He seemed so into you. Everything was going so great. So you began to make excuses for him to make yourself feel better. No, you told yourself. Everything was perfect. You spend nights thinking about where you went wrong. I hate to tell you, but your instincts are right. Now, for the first time, you can.

Is that so wrong? Of course not! Really, you deserve it! Listen To A Man. The 3 Biggest Mistakes women make that cause men to disappear. Believing that what attracts him to you is the same thing you find attractive in him You look great for your age. Yet every once in a blue moon, you meet a man who makes the cut. Your attraction is strong. Your connection is real. Your chemistry is white hot. You dive into a relationship … and he breaks up with you a few months later.

Not quite. Here are a few common examples of being proactive: You have a great date, you email him the next day to say you had a lot of fun. You want to see him next week, you tell him his favorite band is playing downtown and you can get tickets.

Continue to push men for dates, commitment or clarity, and watch them run away. You ask him probing questions on the first date, looking for chinks in his armor. You ask where your relationship is going after the third date.

Then you wonder why he disappeared. How can you learn about a man and protect yourself without scaring him away? There are women out there — not many, but a few — who are really good at handling men.

Why do guys do what they do? Why are they so confusing? Learn this, and drop a lifetime of pain and confusion, freeing yourself up for true love. What traits desirable men desire most of all in a woman. The answers will surprise you! Find out what that is. The dozens of things that men do to please you on the first date and the ONE thing you have to do to please them in return!

How to instantly determine if your boyfriend is using you for the short-term or is in it for the long haul. And it gives you the clarity you deserve. Why knowing how to change a man is NOT the answer to being happy and secure , and the one thing you CAN control and change immediately. How to turn your love life around by simply changing your perspective in this one, specific way.

Do this and every man will want a second date with you. How a 5-minute exercise can literally turn around an entire date. How to let go of years of pain and frustration and leave it buried in the past where it belongs. How you can connect equally well with average guys and intellects, and make each and every date into a positive experience. If so, you could be making him lose interest and disappear.

Find out how to avoid this critical mistake. A guaranteed method to determine if a guy is serious about you after the first date.

Exactly how much time you need to set aside each week to ensure that love can enter your life you NEED to take this seriously. The one all-purpose method for dealing with the check at the end of a date.

Do this and there will never be another awkward moment — for either of you. The right time to bring up serious relationship issues — and have them taken seriously by your boyfriend!

A little annoying, right? A man will start to lose interest if he senses THIS in the way you talk about your past relationships. The most important thing you can say to yourself when your guy has put his foot in his mouth or done something really stupid. Learn this and change your life! The 3 most valuable techniques that the smartest women use to keep the relationship healthy.

I literally married my wife because she knew these 3 techniques! Do you assume that ALL men are lying, emotionally unavailable, commitmentphobic? Without this, good men will quickly disappear. Why men would often rather hang out with their guy friends — and what you can do to become part of his innermost circle. The kind of self-help books that men read and the ONLY reason that a man will ever choose to change for your relationship.

The key to figuring out which issues you can deal with from men, and which ones you should run from. The answer might surprise you! You could be my friend. You could be my client.

Not much. Understanding the male point of view is the key to connecting with a man who is a true equal. AMY G.

Do yourself a favor today and get this part of your life resolved once and for all. Why He Disappeared — Audio. Why He Disappeared Online — eBook. Why He Disappeared Online — Audio. The trouble with men who are in the 95th percentile of intelligence.

Why trying to find someone who is just like you is a flawed strategy. Why getting in touch with your own humility can be the secret that helps you find love. The most important quality you should look for in a man — and how, without it, there is NO relationship. The value of being pro-active and taking your love life into your own hands. How to assess whether you should sleep with a man and why men are judgmental when they have sex too early.

The power of walking away from a non-committal man. The 2 things that cause men to end relationships every time. How to understand and empathize with men and forge a unique, trusting relationship with them. How to attract more men and higher quality men online.

When to get out of a dead-end relationship. The downside to being a strong woman. Why you should believe the negatives and ignore the positives. How you can do whatever you want with the nice, nerdy guy. How to let yourself off the hook for mistakes in your past. The secret frustrations that men experience in online dating.

A few key tips to writing an amazing username. What men really want out of their first date with you. The exact moment that you should sleep with a man for the first time.

How the first few weeks of your relationship can be an illusion. Why raising the dating bar so high that no one can jump it is dangerous. How the next man you date has nothing to do with the last man you dated. The two most important qualities you should look for in a man. How your expectations of men corrupt your own relationships.

Why you should always choose character over charisma. In just over seventy minutes, I will share with you:. The 4 Sources of Negativity, and how to reframe it into optimism. How to cleanse yourself from your experience from a bad man. How to let go of the disappointment from the revolving door that is online dating.

How to block out that relentlessly negative voice in your head. Thank you Evan, for putting my dating life back on track! I think it would. Pretty nice, huh? ANA C. LISA L. Well, today, I am free!! Thank you. Warmest wishes and much love, Your friend,. In the past, I always had pressure from my parents and friends to get married. After I had done that, I knew that I was not in the right place. I wanted to get past the pain and anger and move on. I realized that I wanted to have another relationship, but I needed to choose a different type of person.

How would I be able to do this? You inspired me. You repeatedly said that I should not reject anyone just because he was different than the type of people I had dated before. You encouraged me to give everyone a chance and just see how it goes. So I decided to try that. Being open allowed me to talk with so many people about different topics and date without trying to "find a relationship".

It was strange at first; then it was wonderful! I began focusing on how I felt with that person; did I like what he brought out in me, etc. It was during this period that I was introduced to a man by a male friend of mine. He started talking to me about selling his house when it had been on the market for quite a while.

I finally looked up the stats and called him with my personal approach. His house sold within 2 weeks! He then called and took me out for dinner to thank me. We had a wonderful time and enjoyed our conversation tremendously. That was the beginning. He then told me that he wanted to see me often and talk on the phone often.

I agreed to go along with this, and our relationship continued to move forward easily. It has now been about 9 months and even though there have been a few hiccups along the way, he is always reaching out for a solution. He is the one telling me that he wants our relationship to last a lifetime! I am still amazed at how we talk and figure out what works for us!

He still tells everyone that we have been dating for 2 years but that it took him a year to get me to give him my phone number!! Your words, including the information in your e-book, have given me a new perspective. There is no doubt that men and women will never think alike. But we all like to laugh and laughter reduces stress. We try to use this when we talk about serious issues and take a little space before we discuss these issues again.

This seems to have allowed us the insight into figuring out what happened and how each of us interpreted the situation differently, giving us the opportunity to plan ahead in the future. Without your help, I never could have imagined that I could be in a relationship like this one. I'm in my 60's and expected that I would not have a committed relationship again. I'm still dealing with issues internally of fear and past experiences, as is he. But we can talk about these things and know that we have something special.

Thank you Evan. I continue to reach out for your insights and advice and share the newsletters with many of my friends who are looking for something different in their relationships too.

Warm regards,. ANN S. After all we had been through so much together, had so much fun, even lived together for 7 months! I bought another on line dating guide, I wanted him and things back to the way they were. This made me feel terribly insecure, and sent me spiralling in to coming across as needy, clingy with a sense of not being able to cope on my own. I learnt a massive lesson I was a fixer, every time something went wrong, I would rise to the occasion and try to fix it!

An endless cycle! I learnt to sit back and be chased, be open to his advances, and let him have the masculine energy Now I am in a situation where he chases me, when he reaches me, I am soft and warm and let my feminine charms go to work.

I never ask for a date, or an online chat. He wants a date; he asks and I say yes. He wants me to go over and spend the evening with him; I say yes.

He wants to hold my hand and show me off; I say yes. Once you understand where men are coming from, which I would not have been able to do without the help of Why He Disappeared, it is very simple! I have never felt so relaxed around him, he knows this and wants to spend more time with me. His choice! And I discovered that actually after a year marriage where he was never able to make choices for himself, he actually quite likes to do this.

Thank you so much Evan. Why wouldn't any man want a vibrant, successful, loving woman, such as myself. I'm in shape. I'm cute, like a girl-next-door. Yet, I kept putting myself in the wrong position, which wasn't doing me any favors. I felt I needed a better understanding of how men think.

Like a woman, I needed to know why. I asked my friends. I discussed with myself, over and over and over again. I was so focused on the why, I couldn't get past it.

I was obsessed with it. Come to find out, the "why" only proves someone wrong. Besides, as you so humorously pointed out, the answer really doesn't matter. I loved the examples given to answer the question why he disappeared. The few you made up made me laugh. Ultimately, the answer to my worrying about why men left me was so simple. If I focused so much energy on the previous man, I would never be open to the next man Although you pointed out the obvious to someone who thought themselves connected, I realize this is just the first step in my transformation to becoming a woman that men will want to meet and stay with.

Rather than focus all my energies on changing them, I will need to move that focus to me, stop controlling, and learn to enjoy the moment. After listening to your audio, I felt so relieved. There wasn't anything wrong with me. I was doing what appeared to come naturally. My motto of 'just make it work' was making me wrong. When that happened, I felt helpless in my relationships. I, now have, a renewed interest in finding the partner for me and am giving the 'giving up the control' a sincere effort.

It is difficult after 55 years of life to look at relationships differently, but I am willing to put in the work, trust my instincts, and forget the 'why'!!!

Thank you, Evan, for enlightening me, having faith in women, and being honest with what 'is'!! Your forever follower,. That hurt. I mean really, really hurt. I read the entire book in one sitting. Reading Why He Disappeared was like reading my own personal dating history replete with failures. Except this time, I have the opportunity to get it right.

I just told my boyfriend of 3 months yes, he does all of the things on the checklist that I totally trust him This came as the result of another single, mutual friend of ours trying to sabotage our relationship.

It made us stronger. It made me anxious to buy Evan's book. I am a successful, independent, African American attorney. I live in Memphis, TN which, among other issues, does not have the greatest reputation for being a place where singles can live, thrive, and DATE. I am now dating a wonderful and successful African American man whose devotion to me never ceases to amaze me.

We are both in our late 30s I am 37 and he is 36 , and yes, I do want children someday. Neither one of us have children.

Although, I am in a relationship, I found the advice on page 35 of the book regarding what men want to be highly enlightening. I too believed that just being beautiful I am often told this by men and women alike , successful, financially stable, secure, confident, and a great cook, would cause me to have men lined up down the street and around the corner--not so. I blamed it on the fact that most of the men I date have not acquired the success nor the financial stability I have, and they are intimidated.

When my guy called last night he works in corporate America and travels with his position , we talked, I giggled softly, I did not indict him for his perceived flaws, he asked if I minded cooking lasagna for him when he returns this weekend, I obliged.

He called me back before going to sleep thanking me for being supportive of him. Thanks to you, Evan, I now have a fighting chance with this relationship before knocking myself out of contention. No, I do not know whether I will marry him, but if even my excuses about the shortage of men of my ethnicity could be dissolved by reading your book, then ANY woman's excuses should dissolve just as rapidly.

Actually, you broke through to me by helping me shift my perspective. It took a while Letting go has given me confidence. But, most of all, it has set me free. I now know not every date I go on has to, or will, mean something.

And instead of sweating the "what does it all mean?! Your down-to earth attitude and easy-going demeanor made me feel at ease. I hope we can meet again and pickup where we left off. About what makes men fall madly in love with some women and completely vanish on others? There are plenty of finger-wagging "gurus" out there who will dish out the tough love.

But who wants lectures when you're confused and hurting? With a unique combination of charm, wit and wisdom, Evan delivers the message you need to hear to get the love you want. I wholeheartedly recommend this wonderful book. It is awesome! I have always struggled with the whole ''let the guy pursue you'' concept. From a woman''s perspective, I always want to be up-front about my interest level, and thought that if I didn't show interest, the guy would move on.

I am in the ''courting phase'' in my current relationship yes, we met online. Every fiber of my being wanted to e-mail my new guy today, just to let him know that I was thinking of him, etc.

But after reading your book, I decided to take your advice and Don't. It was grueling! And, BTW, he had said to me casually a couple of times that ''it's all about the chase, don't forget that.

And I followed your instructions, and responded happily to his e-mail and his text. Now, the other part of the book that resonated with me was written by your wife, so you get no credit.

Right has a big family ''birthday dinner'' on Sunday because 4 of his family members have birthdays within a few weeks. He did not ask me to attend this event. I was hurt at first, but after reading what your wife wrote, I understand that him not inviting me to this, has nothing to do with me. We're going on a trip to Aruba next week. I think I found you just in the nick of time. Many thanks, Evan! Your advice is spot-on, and sometimes from a female perspective hard to swallow.

I felt so relieved to learn how to focus on men's behaviours instead of words, but especially, how to flatter and bring out the best in the men I was dating. This took the pressure off, made dating more fun, and was extremely effective at making men feel comfortable. As well, I learned a very important lesson about how to recognize the good things men were doing, which I often overlooked, and forgive their minor mistakes.

I applied Evan's approach and saw immediate results. Suddenly, I was in control - the men I were dating always called me back for another date. It was so easy! I felt like I was finally effectively showing who I was during these dates: comfortable, confident, and charming. I had so much more fun on dates because by learning how to make men feel appreciated and at ease, I really feel that I got to see the best side of them, too!

Shortly after, I met a man I was very interested in but who had a very successful and busy life. Things moved slowly at first given his busy schedule. Eventually he told me I was irresistible and he had to be my boyfriend. We couldn't be happier! I feel absolutely fantastic.

There is no better feeling than knowing you are putting your best foot forward and are in control of your dating life, instead of the other way around. Using Evan's tools, I was able to effectively show men who I am, make them comfortable and at ease around me and wanting more. The result was that I let the man of my dreams walk right into my arms. It still feels surreal, it's so great! Man, you have just changed my life. He is texting me 20 times a day Because Mr. Jump-in-the-deep-end-head-first without knowing a person As you said No amount of money You have completely changed my life But I now feel this way because a huge weight has been lifted and I have a new path and outlook for my future.

Do you have any idea how huge that is? I hope I just gave you the compliment of the year because that is big stuff; to make that kind of a difference. You got through like no one else has ever been able to. I especially liked your points about the pros and cons of smart, attractive women and the need to persevere. I think singledom is an epidemic in our country.

Great advice! Your work is a practical, useful guide to successful dating and relationship management. It's like a light bulb lighting up over one's head. I have followed to the best of my ability your advice and have succeeded in finding a truly wonderful man who actually, as he puts it, fell for me from the moment I walked into the restaurant. I could have found a million things wrong with him and why he wasn't the one for me but this time I took pause and reflected on what you said.

What a wise move that was. I have finally selected a kind, compassionate and caring man, one who knows how to love another, not just himself. I will keep rereading your book to make sure I never slip into my old ways. My best to you,. I was getting into the dating pool again after a marriage that lasted less than 2 years, a LTR that lasted 18 years, but we stopped having sex after 8, and slept in separate bedrooms for the last 2, and a 7 yr.

I have to say, I fumbled a lot, and acted a little crazy when I first started dating again. All the things you talk about in your book, your blog, your teleconference, I did. I was the role model for girls guys hate to date! I purchased your book, and then met a wonderful man. We are together after 10 months, and happily talking about a future together. For the first time in my life, I have not morphed into the woman that a man wants me to be A funny side note A few weeks later he had a change of heart.

I was ecstatic, and readily welcomed him back into my life. Two weeks later Yes, I repeated this one more time So long story short Then I get a text from him telling me how he dreams about me, how he wishes he could do it all over, yada yada yada BEST thing is, because of your advice, I can now see that for what it is, and ignore it, laugh about it, and go on.

It wouldn't even matter that I am in a happy relationship now So, great advice! You have truly changed my life, and in this season of giving, I just wanted you to know that! Best wishes to you and your awesome wife and soon to be awesome baby! MARY S. Something in your book spoke to me like no other dating coach did. Most dating coaches deal with what YOU can do to make the relationship better.

Even my therapist did the same thing. From the time we are children we are told you will be successful at anything if you just try. That is not always the case in dating. Why do so many successful women are usually alone? What to do in such a situation? From childhood, we are told that a good education and a decent career — it is something without which you can not live good. Now nobody wants to hear about personal growth and annual bonuses. Everyone wants to know only one thing: did you already get married?

With this, educated and employed a matter of 20 to 24 hours a day, women have special problems. What prevents intelligent women to enter into a perfect marriage?